Grief is different for everyone. Some are able to go through the process understanding and getting on with life fairly quickly. Others can hold on to the pain and grieve for years. Do not be hard on yourself. What is easy for you, may not be for another. Grief is not just about loos of a loved one. It can be loss of a home, a job, a car, a pet. Loss comes in many forms.
Telling someone it has been long enough, or it is time to move, on is not appropriate. Some people enjoy the pain of loss. It often allows them to feel connect to the loved one. It is a choice but none the less it is their choice. There are seven stages of grieving and you work through the stages as it is appropriate for you. No one has the right to judge you because no one really knows what you have been through.
My friend Cathy holds a biweekly grief and pain meditation class to help people to heal from loss. I find it fascinating how many people have moved on but still feel the pain of loss. We all do, some more than others. When you love and cherish deeply it can be like riding a roller coaster. One day you are on top of the world and he next day emotionally in the deepest fathoms of the ocean. Working on letting go of the pain is a grand idea. You never get over the loss but you can gain perspective and learn to carry on and live a full life. It is a choice you can make. I admire people like Cathy for being the caring individual to assist others to move forward. We all need to respect and support with kind words, the family, friends and even strangers during the grieving process as one day we each will need it.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person. When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end .Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.